I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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