T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hippo gnu deer
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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