I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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