i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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