I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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