please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
