What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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