I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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