8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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