so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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