A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
