And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
