I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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