I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
