I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
