thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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