when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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