dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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