even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
