A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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