Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
