worst night to have a conscience
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
