We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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