She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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