I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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