and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
