Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize