seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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