so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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