I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
