FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
