I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
