Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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