I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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