As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
