Whod you bang
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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