oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
