If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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