I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So vagazzling was a success
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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