OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
