Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
