dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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