I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
God, I missed his penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
