He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
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Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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