I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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