i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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