His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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