we're blogging at a bar
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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