I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
