Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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