You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
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It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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