I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
