I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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