Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...

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(503): View more from Oregon

my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.

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(905): View more from Ontario

while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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(925): View more from California

Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

(1-925): View more from California

Yes. Yes it is.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.

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(360): View more from Washington

Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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(631): View more from New York

I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.

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