I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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