we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
