If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?