Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them http://tfl.nu/yhv5

Replies (2) Good night (1596) Bad night (813)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (638)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha http://tfl.nu/twp9

Replies (17) Good night (1624) Bad night (835)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq

Replies (30) Good night (3757) Bad night (993)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5

Replies (52) Good night (12647) Bad night (3008)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action... http://tfl.nu/keaf

Replies (13) Good night (1218) Bad night (6708)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today? http://tfl.nu/2t0w

Replies (20) Good night (5299) Bad night (1200)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with. http://tfl.nu/qynz

Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (1070)
Favorite
(574): View more from Indiana

Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(574): Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance. http://tfl.nu/jrt8

Replies (6) Good night (637) Bad night (2300)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry? http://tfl.nu/phvz

Replies (1) Good night (1545) Bad night (480)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding http://tfl.nu/2362

Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (1182)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor http://tfl.nu/quon

Replies (9) Good night (1184) Bad night (590)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie

Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (397)
Favorite
(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(787): I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/2egx

Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (402)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing. http://tfl.nu/usi8

Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (200)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard