I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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