there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want to make out with him forever
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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