so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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