And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So squirting runs in the family.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
