You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
