Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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