I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
