Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you never un-have a 4some
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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