i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
