Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He better not be in your backpack
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
